Monday, 4 March 2013

Wankvis


I am often very harsh in my criticism of #ahem wankvis, some might say too harsh, there might be something in that. I am though resolute in my opinion, however I must give it some credence.

It was the first place/time that I realised that I really don't like SEOs and I really detest what they do.

LinkMünki hath spoketh

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Futuripsum


You reserved the whole rink? . Iet them know whose aide was coming by. The mayor's, that's whose. Mr. Vogel, I thought we was going skating. No, we're not important enough. Everybody just hold hands until the bus driver comes back from his haircut. What? Seriously? I'm trying to impress you with my clout. I know, and it's working. But think how much skating would mean to those kids. We came here instead of eating today. This might be their only chance to skate here their whole lives.



Dog-danged scammers used our money to build a fleet of remote-controlled, solid-gold Death Stars. Ooh! I’d take one of those with a side of chili fries. We're hopelessly outgunned. The force is with us, but that's about it. to a huge manufacturing complex. I brought the eIves back from vacation Chained them up and caIIed my hoIiday friends Kwanzabot And the Chanukah zombie Three mad, wise men Bearing murder and frankincense Damn you Now fetch those bunnies by the armfuI sIightIy more harmfuI No one here goes near that door This toyshop's going to war'Be sIow to anger'Low-down scammers got me seeing red Got my TIE fighter out of the hangar'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead Ten hut! DreidI, dreidI I made it out of bIasting cIay You're nuts And when it's dry and ready For mercy they wiII pay I can't wait eight nights or more This zombie's going to war Kwanzabot in the NeptizzIe-hizzIe With my inhuman beat box Busy buiIding missiIes They're guided by these cute dancing fairy figures CarefuI, IittIe eIf That's proximity-triggered I'm fighting back for Kwanza So the chiIdren won't miss it I'm confused about its meaning But I know it when they dis it So, Santa Come on, pimp my sIeigh Easy with that toy artiIIery Torgo's powder's deadIy but unstabIe Can they sue for liability? Certainly not! Use as much as you are abIe You signed away your rights when you were hired Chestnuts roasting, I'm gonna open fire Prepare for gore gaIore This trinity's going to war Troops, you are now equipped with the finest weapons magical elves can build.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

The Defence of Blogger

Blogger, or blogspot, the blogging platform upon which these words have been placed, comes under an awful lot of criticism from both the blogging community and the SEO community, but since they are both generally full of **** you can take their opinions for the shit that it is: crap.

The simple fact is that you can do almost anything in blogger that you can do in the horrid behemoth that is WordPress [spit], these people only ever regurgitate what other bloggers and SEOs [on wordPress [spit]] say on their rubbish WordPress [spit] blogs. These people are clearly idiots, these people have clearly never used blogger [or anything other than WordPress [spit]] in their miniscule blogging career. The case is made most clearly when you suggest to them that there are a lot of very good, well made, blogs out there using tumblr, they look at you as if you are speaking in Klingon, they only see the many run-of-the-mill tumblrs out there. But I can tell you there are some fantastic ones, if you want to look.

Another thing about blogger, quite simple, it is a google service, and the big G likes its own stuff. Google hosts it, it is on the google server: quite simply it is in the best interests of google to index all original content on blogger, and cancel the accounts that are rubbish. Being on blogger also helps in metrics: for those of us who do not register our own domain name, the domain level metrics would always be better for http://*.blogspot.com/ than the theoretical www.linkmunki.com/ [if you want it, it is available [but I will burn you]] I already have linkmunki.co.uk/ [also hosted on the big G], so when it comes to this shitty little blog [on blogger] and mummy blogger version XXXXXCCCCCII [on WordPress [spit]] I know which is better.

All this and I haven't even mentioned how much the admin interface is much easier to use, and how the interaction between google's webasters tools & google analytics is so much easier [though it must be said I am more & more impressed with parts of bing webmasters tools these days]. The case: if you are an enthusiast then there is no case; the little that WordPress [spit] gives you that blogger doesn't, in no way makes up for the benefits that blogger gives you, and if you are a web developer [spit] f**k off to your WordPress [spit].

LinkMünki hath spoketh

Friday, 20 May 2011

Search Engines

Search Engines are lovely things [frustrating things, often, yes, but lovely things] in many ways they are part of the pinnacle of civilization so far, I'm not joking. For a person to type two or three words into 'a search engine' and within milli-seconds 'relevant results' are returned is remarkable, never mind baffling [take into consideration asking for something at your local library ...]

But this is the problem, search engines are wasted on the greater mass of the human race, most searches are so genereric as to give people like me a job, when the beauty of search engines allows anybody [especially those who know how] to refine their searches so well. However in truth this is almost a secret language to most of the people who search. I'd also like to point out now that I am talking search engines and not google per se, all of them act differently [well yahoo! & bing are the same thing now], thus can and ought be used differently. I am mainly talking about site commands, and I know all you SEOs know this but ...

Well here I'm going to step back from that assertion, I recently left the SEO team of a company where two people in particular taught me a lot about using search engines to find ways of getting links [you know who you are], in many ways I wish i had never had to leave... but other than blogs we had to use ingenuity to find links, and that's what was done: I think I prefer onsite stuff though, [but whenever I do onsite stuff I usually find loads of things wrong with the site, and get very unpopular with developers/designers/managers/account managers/you name it, I can piss people off]

No, not all the people who call themselves SEOs [not me by the way, I am proud to be a linkbuilder] apparently know how to use site commands, and therefore not all of them know half a shit about search engines and how they work, and it isn't surprising when the whole industry is obsessed with getting links and not making links, don't get me wrong, I'd love to spend more time onsite, but you have to have links for site to get indexed in the first place.

Example of knowing how to use "search engines" to find a site you might want to get links from others, try this,

first check with bing

[linkfromdomain:targetteddomain.com] look for what looks like an seo link [ie dubiously related]

take the site that was linked to and use the yahoo!

[linkdomain:competitor.com] to find where on targetteddomain.com linked to competitor.com it

look at the page/html with the link on targetteddomain.com to find out how the link was got [ctrl+u]

do something similar................

google

Simple google examples of finding potential link targets

[site:site.com stuff] results from site.com with a 'stuff' relevance

[site:site.com ~stuff] the great related search eg ~stuff might also give you results for 'things', etc

[site:site.com allintext:stuff+things] this search returns pages with the words stuff & things in the text, "d'oh"

[site:site.com inurl:stuff] this will return the search site.com/stuff but not site.com/things

[site:site.com -site:www.site.com] one of my favourites, this gives you just the subdomains of a site, and of course can be tailored to fit what you are looking for, ie site:site.com -site:www.site.com stuff things, this can give you results like stuff.site.com & things.site.com, but neither www.site.com/stuff nor www.site.com/things, whala!

But the chance is that I am only speaking to myself, so this is just me pissing into the wind, eh?

LinkMünki

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

RSS - The Gift that Keeps Giving

I have already posted about RRS in an earlier post, this is not quite the same thing [over the last week and a bit I have been working a lot with RSS and it has rejuvenated my love for this often overlooked asset.]

I keep hearing a lot about RSS being dead, yes ... it is not rendered correctly in chrome [my favourite browser], yes it is not particularly 'cool', but I love RSS. But as I said in the title it is the gift that keeps on giving. As soon as you write a new post it gives you, automagically xXx amounts of free links back to your site, what is there to dislike? [well there are scrapers which steal your content from agregators, but if you are smart enough to link to yourself in every new post, it is the scrapers which give you a link ;)]

Really Simple Sindication is often seen as rubbish free links, but it can give you a boost [short term] so that search engines do pick up your latest news [well in my case 'ramblings' would be a better word], and what is more you only have to go near it once, set a feed up, then it keeps going, and going, and going...

It's not even spam, it is sindication, it is getting your content out there, it is getting links to the original source. I have never quite understood why people do not have easily accessible feeds on any site which is regularly updated, you are going without free linkage [and I fail to see the negatives in that]. Luckily there are places out there where you can make your own custom RSS feeds [I prefer instapaper, but there are others like open dapper, but ...], but it is not the same, they have to be manually updated, real feeds don't, there is nothing like a proper RSS ...

No, the only thing in the interweb that I like more than RSS are those mental little social networking sites which spring up all over the place [especially whilst in beta], but methinks that that is a different story, for a different post.

LinkMünki

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Social Networks & Clients

Lets face it, from an SEO point of view, clients are generally so behind the curve that they really ought keep shtumm and let us get on with our jobs, all they ever want is a facebook and a twitter, a facebook and a twitter, a facebook and a twitter. Well if that is what they want, why don't they go ahead and do it? But why do you want me to do it? In terms of SEO, facebook is simply rubbish, it gives me nothing [except a real link on my front page to everyone who isn't my 'friend'], and twitter ... you are having a giraffe?

However they do not understand the power of social networking sites, not the huge ones, but there are many which offer us linkers to put links, and good local links, on the internet [for nothing, publicly, etc]. Yet the clients do not want to know, why not ... because the kids all love facebook, but the kids are not likely to 'friend' some rubbish corporate site. Besides the googlebot does not discriminate, you ping it to a public social networking site that you have cleverly linked up and it will, sooner or later [okay, later] come and spider you.

What I simply mean to say is that, Facebook is not the be all and end all of social media, there are a gazillion sites out there, some of whom give you good linkage, others which don't, but most are a whole shit load better than facebook and twitter, but the clients pay the money and they make the choices, so they get the shit results because of their choices.

If you hadn't guessed I love social networking sites, however I use facebook and twitter for what they are good for, that is not SEO.

LinkMünki

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Link Monkeys

Now we all know that there are plenty of link monkeys out there, and this is a necessary problem of SEO. We also know that many people criticise [often rightly so] the amount of people churning out hundreds of shit links month after month, but think about it for a minute ... as in the other analogy, what are the monkeys without the organ-grinders. Somebody tells them to do it, and somebody else [higher up] pays them to do it! The monkeys are just fulfilling a function in our 'industry' .... poor little lambs.

Yes I admit that many link monkeys are outsourced these days, therefore little quality control is instantly available. But again whose fault is that? Not the little monkeys, the manager or agency that made the decision, simples. Yes, lots and lots of rubbish links are handy for an SEO campaign to be successful [especially in a highly competitive market] but why do SEOs feel it above themselves to do the basics from time to time? There are too many SEOs out there who feel themselves above link building, maybe if they kept their feet on the ground they would know that [good] free links are few and far between on the interweb [no matter what that bizarre percentage Mr Cutts said a while ago was].

No, there are good links out there, but they have to be cultivated. Regular blog links are not 'dead' but they are weakened, however if a really good blog with relevant content and selective linking is applied [and the time taken to distribute & sindicate content] blogs can still be very useful. The idea that the 'anchor text is dead' is so stupid I won't even go further. That a link profile has to seem natural is beyond doubt.

These are not the traits of the average link monkey. They just do as told. Google has refined and refined its algo [how much attention do you REALLY think google pays to all those directories?]. The meta key words was too easy to key word stuff: gone. Weight of links can work if they are good, but I've seen competitors with many more links ranking nowhere. SEO, as I said takes time, forging relationships to get links from authority sources, a certain craftiness in looking for places to link well [which SEOs all missed out on the goings on in the Middle East to comment on disruption in <link>holidays in egypt</link>? ;)] on some major news websites. Oh and hey, let us not forget, fixing the site you are optimising for ... when they listen :( [precious b*****ds]

No, as much as the link monkeys get a bad press, they get it because they have bad [and lazy] SEOs and SEO Managers running poor formulaic SEO Campaigns, not thinking and not allowing their charges to think. When it comes to shit SEO and shit links: don't blame the link monkeys blame the link organ-grinders!

One last thing, if you want a good link from a good page, the first lesson should be - ask the webmaster nicely [they can only completely ignore you!]

LinkMünki